I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
how does that bad decision feel?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
