Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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