I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
