Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
