i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
