either way he was missing a nipple.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
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