Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
