I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
