thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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