Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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