another moral hangover. fuck.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
