My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
