I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
