I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
