Walk of Shame. In a state park.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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