she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
