i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
