so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
