You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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