This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
