Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Randomize
