He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
