Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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