I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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