Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
