Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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