So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
