The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
