i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
