This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
