So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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