The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
