it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
