he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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