just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
