No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
