Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I hate all girls vehemently.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Randomize
