even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
