Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
