I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
