I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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