apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
