Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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