i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
