I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
