Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
