I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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