I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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