Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
