when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
