I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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