i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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