Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
it hurts more in the daytime
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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